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came home from work 20 minutes ago.... 8:30 PM on a Friday night…. D is away this weekend so I didn't really have a reason to shut down my outlook email and call it day... Coming home to me isn’t the most exciting of prospects… but I'm finally here... It's silent... I'm exhausted... The mental and emotional overload is enough to make any normal human being crawl into bed, fall asleep, and never want to wake up. The problem is... I'm far from normal...

I turned on the TV to CNN.... Funeral Blast in Pakistan, 20 killed in Gaza strike, Fighting stops aid for Darfur refugees, 'Chemical Ali' execution approved....

All so fucking depressing.... I turned the TV off, sat in silence, and closed my eyes... The thoughts, the feelings; all so overwhelming… I despise my actions for so many reasons… They’ve caused hurt… They’ve caused pain to good people…. To myself…

I’m exhausted… and far...very, very far from normal...